Well, I wanted to welcome y’all into the new year with a lovely post about good things for 2021, but here we are.
Category: breakin the law
A Spray of Paint
I think street art is pretty cool. I’ve heard of Banksy and would love to stumble upon one of his creations one day. But unfortunately, he is the only one I have really heard about. That being said I still love taking pictures of great street art. I do not like the random spray paint of vulgar words, that does not street art make. No; my friends. But interesting pictures, either with spray paint or stencils or what have you, that is street art.
A bit of art for you from the lovely city of Palma de Mallorca and the Meat is Murder is from a graveyard of half built apartments in Ses Covetes.
One for the Road
Maybe it is my slightly off-kilter view on life but I found this gas station slash bar slash wc stop in Poland most amusing. Nothing like a glass of whiskey before your drive home.
Which way do I go…
Trick or treat smell my feet give me something good to eat
Halloween morn arrived bright and early at 8am. It was 5pm in Spain and I read Time magazines until my cute sleeping friend woke to help me figure out her coffee machine. By noon we hit the costume store where I selected a lovely convict minidress and Donita, the gangster equivalent. Perfect, Halloween was ON. Donita had so many fun tourist ideas, the fish market, the Space Needle and a boat ride called the Duck but time was running a bit late, so next time Seattle, I promise!! After a quick stop at Taco Time with a very unsatisfied employee worker, we were off to Portland!
Oddly, once we crossed over the Oregon line our Oklahoma accents returned with a flourish. I am not sure if it was us getting tired or the fact that the state began with an O but the twang was back. And I liked it.
We arrived at my brother’s home with my nephew and orange margaritas patiently (impatiently?) waiting for us. So nice to see my family, I never see them often enough. Avery changed into his spider costume and then was off to get some sugary sweets for Aunt Kim. He scored some good stuff – Nerds, Lollipops and Pixi Sticks were MINE. Now, time for the adults to celebrate Halloween. My brother and his wife joined us out for Halloween at my mom’s goading and my happiness. It was such a fun night out with them and their friends. So much better than Donita and me going out to random bars and getting hit on by random men (hey, we’re cute, it happens a lot), but no worries my handsome German, they all pale in comparison to you….cue romantic music.
So, Halloween! Donita and I checked into the Hotel Deluxe in Portland. Awesome hotel, fabulous price, muy delicioso brunch….and just call front desk if you need ANYTHING. We spent most of Halloween at the hotel bar, The Driftwood Room, with our group of eight. I thought my department of corrections outfit was really cool and was in the mood for breakin the law….don’t worry, never did. A few went out to smoke and I was telling the rest of the table that I was the jail doctor because the word DOC was on my left front pocket. We made up silly jail doctor stories and when Donita came back from the smoke break I proudly proclaimed:
me: D, I am a DOCTOR. See, it says here (as I underlined the word DOC on the front of my outfit with my finger). DOC.
D: (grabbing my shoulders and turning my back to her) Um, no, you are Department of Corrections. As it says on the back of your dress.
me: (light bulb, blonde moment) OoooooHHH!!! Wow….damn, I thought I was a doctor!! Whatever, still going to be a doctor. Another vodka tonic please!
Soon The Driftwood closed and we hit a dive bar around the corner where we played the Jukebox and pretty much goofed off acting completely stupid. What’s new? The drink of choice was Sweet Tea Vodka. OH MY GOD! You mean I can have sweet tea as an alcoholic drink too? If you live in the south you know about sweet tea. It was goooood. Sweet Tea Vodka (mixed with Sprite?) , a Jukebox, hilarious time with friend and family – it will be a Halloween I will never forget. Soon, the dive bar was closing too, Donita and I grabbed handfuls of candy from the basket and ran out the door.
November 1st arrived nicely without a hangover and some scrumptious brunch at Gracie’s Restaurant in the hotel. My favorite breakfast ever was on the menu, eggs benedict, each of us ladies ordered one and shared – the classic with bacon, smoked salmon, baby spinach and wild mushrooms or Dungeness crab and Oregon Bay shrimp cakes. YUM. My brother had the corned beef hash which looked really good too. Sadly, once brunch was over so was my time with Donita. She was meeting BF#2 (or was it #3?) before she headed back to Seattle. D….you are a rockstar. Thanks for the escaped convict/gangster memories.
Next up: Hangin with the fam in Portland and the exciting world of Celtic Thunder.
I now live in a sleepy little town on the southern tip of Mallorca where there seems to be a fantastic lack of tourists, not counting the popular fish restaurant C’an Pep. This Saturday I let the time slip away and my one small grocery store had already closed but I needed to grab a few food/wine staples from my next closest supermercado fifteen km away. Everything is shut down tight on Sundays so I have to stock up for the weekend and in the case of a random holiday which will close everything down. Europe seems crazy for their dia(s) de fiesta and I never know when they will strike and render me useless for a day or so.
Driving my white German plated Audi I head out towards the store. I turn two blocks to see the sparkling blue Mediterranean winking at me and the island of Cabrera beckoning me for a visit. I make a mental note that this is the year to visit the island which served as a prisoner-of-war camp during the Napoleonic Wars and was frequented by pirates in days of old. And in my dreams of pirates and treasure I am rudely interrupted a minute later by my friendly neighborhood policia roadblock motioning for me to pull over.
Crap, I think. This might not be good.
I gave them my best smile and was rockin a short miniskirt which seemed to deter one but not the other. I saw the cranky one had what looked like some kind of machine in his hand, was that a breathalyzer test? I have never had one of those in my life so I wasn’t quite sure if I was correct.
License and insurance please….in Spanish they naturally asked. As I rummaged through the glove box I knew we did not have anything up to date in that car, plus Spanish law states if a car from another country stays in Spain for longer than six months they must register for Spanish plates. And me, always pushing the illegal envelope had done no such thing. Handing them my Oklahoma driver’s license and the expired insurance card I tried in broken Spanish to tell them it was by boyfriend’s car, mi coche de los novios! Por favor. After much discussion and a crowd starting to watch, they told me it was illegal to drive without a Spanish license but I know the laws and said I was only a tourista. Granted, I live here but I try to leave the EU every 90 days to renew my requirements. After that was said, all was good. They can’t do a single thing to a tourista and my Oklahoma license was good to go. Oh, but one more thing, the breathaylzer test. I fumbled with opening the small plastic packet containing my blow piece and blew for two seconds. No, no, no the nice cop said, you must breathe until I tell you to stop. Alright, let’s try this again. I hadn’t had my glass of red wine yet so I registered a 0.00 and I even got to keep my blow piece as a souvenir.
The supermercado was packed, as it usually is on a saturday evening with tourists stocking up on cerveza, chips and rosado and while waiting in the check-out line I looked at my driver’s license and laughed. Thank god they didn’t look at my license very well because apparently it has expired. I have been stopped a few times by the Mallorca policia and they absolutely love that damn Oklahoma license. The first time I was pulled over the cops did a presentation on how they thought the Oklahoma police interrogated people.
“Put your hands on the car!” is what they demonstrated (and brought back some memories in a church parking lot). How could I not laugh and agree?