Minor Differences

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What a weekend! The Oscars (my favorite) and a crazy few days hearing from Charlie Sheen. What a difference these two make. Let’s compare a few quotes, shall we?

Natalie:

• (In lieu of John Galliano’s anti-Semitic comments)  “I hope at the very least, these terrible comments remind us to reflect and act upon combating these still-existing prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful.”
• “Where I live, nobody who’s fourteen is having sex and doing major drugs. And I think if you see it in the movies, you may be influenced by it. I think it’s so important to preserve your innocence. “
• “They tell me: ‘OK, this is where we’re going to push up your cleavage,’ and I’m like, ‘What cleavage?’ “
• “I’m afraid of everything. But maybe when you’re afraid of everything, it sort of seems like you’re scared of nothing. “
• “Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.
• “Breast implants gross me out. I don’t think they’re attractive at all. “

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And on the completely opposite side of the spectrum, the Charlie Sheenster.

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• “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available, because if you try it once, you will die – your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
• “I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”
• “I am battle-tested bayonets, bro.”
• “It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee because I don’t have time for these clowns.”
• “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total frickin’ rock star from Mars.”

And my personal favorite:

• “Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — Imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists”

And while I love Natalie Portman and think she is the cow’s shibazz. I can’t help waiting to hear the latest C. Sheen quote of the day. He is a human train wreck. And has been drinking a whole lotta crazy.